I’ve been quiet lately. Trying to take some things in and deal with them. I went to the gyn on Monday for my test results and to have an ultrasound done of my female parts because I have extremely heavy bleeding and somethings arent right. Well my lab work showed that i’m pre diabetes and I have to start seeing a dietitian to get it under control so I don’t end up with full blown diabetes.. I’m still trying to deal with this and accept it. I really dont have a choice in the matter do I? I have to deal with it and I have to accept it. I go to the dietitian on Friday. The dr said they’d give me a monitor and i’d have to monitor my levels for awhile. I’m so not looking forward to it. Anyhow the ultrasound showed my uterus is 3x the size it should be and that I have a fibriod. They want to do a hysterectomy but I can’t afford it. My deductible is 5000$ and I don’t have that kind of money right now. Then ontop of all that.. My eye glasses broke when I took them off at the drs office. I had to go get my eyes checked so I could get new glasses.. I’m so stressed out. I feel emotionally maxed out completely. I don’t even know where to start right now.. I’ll just be glad when Friday is over with because right now I don’t know what to do… The doctor told me to stop weight watchers that it wasn’t a good plan for me. She didnt tell me what a good plan was.. Just told me to stop weight watchers and go see this dietitian she referred me to. So until friday I have no game plan..
Posts tagged emotions
Running with scissors..
Thats how I feel today anyhow. I’m sure part of it is the fact that i’m bipolar so my moods swings pretty rapidly and sometimes i’m on top of the world other times i’m not. Yesterday I was feeling great.. Today not so great. Today kinda discouraged. Why? All because of stupid dh.. I don’t know why I let him get to me. I made the mistake of telling him yesterday that I had lost 10 lbs. He says,”good” so matter of factly I wanted to hit him. What i’d like to do is kick his ass and tell him its f*$king great! I’d like to tell him to get off his ass and try to lose some of the weight he is steadily gaining but its his life and his body and he wont listen to me. Even though he went up a pants size and he can’t button (can barely button if he doesnt breathe) his pants. He still says he hasnt gained weight. He is just bloated.. OH FREAKING PLEASE!!!!!!
You aren’t just bloated! You have gained weight and you are steadily pouring it on. Look at all the crap he eats. I fix dinner he eats it then eats cereal or some stupid snack cake afterwards. I dont even know where he gets the junk from he eats. You should see what he eats for lunch. And he has the nerve to talk to me about going to see a weight loss dr.. I’m doing this the right way!!!!!!!!! I’m busting my ass and watching what I eat. I’m not watching the fork to my mouth..
ANYWAY today i’m just angry. Because after all this he has the nerve to say good. Like I need to lose the weight.. Yes I need to lose the weight but a supportive,”Thats great” “Way to go” would have been nice. I’m not surprised though. I”m just pissed off.. Because after telling me good he has the nerve to say my boobs are going away.. WHO CARES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t!
Tosha
