July 23, 2008
· Filed under Weightloss, weigh in · Tagged AF, excited, scale, Weightloss
I stepped on teh scale this morning and I was down 4 lbs.. I’m guessing AF was to blame for my not losing the last few weeks.. Because now that its over i’m showing i’m down 4 lbs.. WOO HOO.. Lets just hope this continues.. Makes me feel better and made my exercise this morning less of a PIA..
I’m still following weight watchers as the Dietitian told me I could. She just included i’d have to watch my carbs while on weight watchers. I have however stopped going to the meetings as money has gotten tight and thats not a MUST HAVE right now.. Its school clothes & school supplies season! Gotta get 3 of the 4 kids in school next month! They have a list of MUST HAVES which come first..
July 21, 2008
· Filed under 1
Why this is so difficult.. No one said it was going to be easy. Infact I knew it wasnt going to be easy. I knew it would be a long journey. I knew this from the beginning but i must admit i’m discouraged. I’ve been following plan and i’m just not losing much. Maybe its because of AF this week. But i’m just not showing much loss.. Maybe a pound.
I go back to the doctor on August 8th and I don’t want to go in with 1 lb lost. What will she say??????? She wont be nice about it I bet. I told her i’m losing very slowly but 1 lb in a month is not acceptable. I’m bloated beyond belief.. Even she admits that.. I think its partially my meds i’m on too. I’m just going to have to work extra hard these next 3 weeks..
July 10, 2008
· Filed under Weightloss, feelings, weight watchers · Tagged diabetes, doctor, emotions, glasses, goals, health, hysterectomy, plans, weight watchers
I’ve been quiet lately. Trying to take some things in and deal with them. I went to the gyn on Monday for my test results and to have an ultrasound done of my female parts because I have extremely heavy bleeding and somethings arent right. Well my lab work showed that i’m pre diabetes and I have to start seeing a dietitian to get it under control so I don’t end up with full blown diabetes.. I’m still trying to deal with this and accept it. I really dont have a choice in the matter do I? I have to deal with it and I have to accept it. I go to the dietitian on Friday. The dr said they’d give me a monitor and i’d have to monitor my levels for awhile. I’m so not looking forward to it. Anyhow the ultrasound showed my uterus is 3x the size it should be and that I have a fibriod. They want to do a hysterectomy but I can’t afford it. My deductible is 5000$ and I don’t have that kind of money right now. Then ontop of all that.. My eye glasses broke when I took them off at the drs office. I had to go get my eyes checked so I could get new glasses.. I’m so stressed out. I feel emotionally maxed out completely. I don’t even know where to start right now.. I’ll just be glad when Friday is over with because right now I don’t know what to do… The doctor told me to stop weight watchers that it wasn’t a good plan for me. She didnt tell me what a good plan was.. Just told me to stop weight watchers and go see this dietitian she referred me to. So until friday I have no game plan..
July 6, 2008
· Filed under Weightloss, exercise, feelings, weight watchers · Tagged diet, exercise, falling, weight loss, weight watchers
I fell off.. The weight loss wagon that is.. I didnt exercise all last week and I havent logged into the weight watchers website in almost 2 weeks. I’ve got to get back on track and start being held accountable for myself again.. Why is it so easy to fall when you’ve been doing good? I’m so tired lately. I think its got to do with some female problems i’ve been having and i’m going to the dr for. I have an ultrasound scheduled for monday to find out whats going on with my female parts. Hopefully we’ll get some answers from that. We shall see..
I don’t really have much else to add but did want to check in.
June 24, 2008
· Filed under Weightloss, exercise, goals, weigh in, weight watchers
I’ve had a horrible week. I had weigh in on friday I was down only 0.6 of a lb.. I was off plan all weekend after that and since we spent friday at the river and I got badly read that BADLY sunburned, I haven’t been able to exercise since. I did try to get in 2 mile walk today but managed 20 minutes and had to stop. My shoulders were hurting me so badly I was ready to cry.. the sweat and clothing hurts them. I need to get back on program and get my ass in gear. No one’s fault but mine. I am back on plan as of today when it comes to eating. I’ve done well so far. Hopefully the scale will show it on friday as long as I stick to plan all week.. I’ll get in exercise when I can.
June 18, 2008
· Filed under Weightloss, exercise · Tagged check in, healthy you challenge, weight loss
I can’t believe its Tuesday agin. I was going to write this post earlier but have been sooooooooo busy today.
I’m doing okay. My scale at home shows a 2lb loss so far which is thrilling. I’m so excited. I’m tired today though and sluggish.. I haven’t done my work out today yet .. Though i’m going to do it here shortly in just a minute.. Other than that things are going okay.
I’m so glad to have everyone from HYC to cheer me on and support me. It makes my week better and gives me the encouragement to keep going. Thank you guys!
June 14, 2008
· Filed under Weightloss, feelings · Tagged angry, dh, doctors, emotions, feelings, weight watchers, Weightloss
Thats how I feel today anyhow. I’m sure part of it is the fact that i’m bipolar so my moods swings pretty rapidly and sometimes i’m on top of the world other times i’m not. Yesterday I was feeling great.. Today not so great. Today kinda discouraged. Why? All because of stupid dh.. I don’t know why I let him get to me. I made the mistake of telling him yesterday that I had lost 10 lbs. He says,”good” so matter of factly I wanted to hit him. What i’d like to do is kick his ass and tell him its f*$king great! I’d like to tell him to get off his ass and try to lose some of the weight he is steadily gaining but its his life and his body and he wont listen to me. Even though he went up a pants size and he can’t button (can barely button if he doesnt breathe) his pants. He still says he hasnt gained weight. He is just bloated.. OH FREAKING PLEASE!!!!!!
You aren’t just bloated! You have gained weight and you are steadily pouring it on. Look at all the crap he eats. I fix dinner he eats it then eats cereal or some stupid snack cake afterwards. I dont even know where he gets the junk from he eats. You should see what he eats for lunch. And he has the nerve to talk to me about going to see a weight loss dr.. I’m doing this the right way!!!!!!!!! I’m busting my ass and watching what I eat. I’m not watching the fork to my mouth..
ANYWAY today i’m just angry. Because after all this he has the nerve to say good. Like I need to lose the weight.. Yes I need to lose the weight but a supportive,”Thats great” “Way to go” would have been nice. I’m not surprised though. I”m just pissed off.. Because after telling me good he has the nerve to say my boobs are going away.. WHO CARES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t!
June 13, 2008
· Filed under goals, weigh in, weight watchers · Tagged feelings, goals, weigh in, weight watchers, Weightloss
I hit that 10 lb gone mark!! I’m so excited.. I was down 2.6 lbs today and that gave me 10 lbs even.. Now just 10 lbs left until I hit my first goal!! I’m feeling so good right now.. WOO HOO!!!! So far I had a WW smoothie for breakfast and 2 cups of water.. I’ll need something else to snack on soon as i’m already hungry.. but its almost lunch time so i’ll survive.. I normally use friday as free days after weigh in as long as I don’t go overboard. If we go out ot eat we do it on fridays but today i’ll stay on plan and see how I do next weigh in.. But right now i’m feeling reassured that I can do this!
June 13, 2008
· Filed under Weightloss, exercise, feelings, goals, weigh in, weight watchers · Tagged diet, doctor, exercise, scale, victory, walking, weigh in
And i’m really pretty nervous.. I shouldn’t be. My scale at home says I have a 4lb weight loss.. I doubt its really that much but it felt pretty good to see that.. If the scale shows that tomorrow at weigh in then i’m down 10 lbs from when I started.. How great would that be?
I’ve been on plan for the last few days and getting my 2 mile walk in as well.. I missed my walk yesterday due to having to take the kids to the dr and everything being so hectic here but I think i’ll be okay.. I will just walk on saturday instead.. I usually walk all week then take one or two days off on the weekend. Thats what normally works for me.
Dh has really been an ass lately. He sometimes makes it hard to continue. But when the scale shows a victory then its so worth it..
June 10, 2008
· Filed under Weightloss, exercise, feelings, goals, the past, weight watchers · Tagged diet, exercise, feelings, health, motivation, weigh in, weight watchers, Weightloss
About last year.. Last year I lost 20 lbs by exercising and watching what I eat. I did it on my own. No weight watchers or anyone to back me up. I worked my arse off and I did it. I dropped a pants size. Probably could have dropped two but was too chicken to try on a smaller size. My bra was too big as well as my shirts. I felt good! I had energy. I was exercising 2 times a day 3 days a week. I had energy and my moods were much better than they are now. Somewhere in there I stopped. Self sabotage I guess.. I slowed down. I said I’ll do it tomorrow..
That mentality took over. I had no one but myself to own up to and I was already letting myself go. I said,” I can do it tomorrow” and tomorrow never came. It got worse and worse and I started putting the weight back on. First 5 lbs. Then 10. Then 15. Then 20.. The weight I had worked so hard to lose I gained back. My pants were tighter and I went back to my previous size.. Do you have any idea how lousy I felt? I had no one else to blame but myself!
I’ve always been told that you won’t do it until you are ready.. I thought I was ready before. What happened? Burn out? I just gave up. Its like I hit 20 lbs lost and thought,” hey I did it.. I proved I could now it doesn’t matter” Was I at the weight I wanted/needed to be to be healthy? NO. Not by far. I still had a long long way to go. So what happened? I don’t know what happened. Life got busy. The holidays hit. I’ve got a long road of excuses. I was tired. The less I exercised the more tired I was. I couldn’t get back with the program..
So fed up here I am again. What’s different? I have to lose the 20 lbs I had already lost is what’s different. Do you know how that feels? Its like cleaning the toilets again 5 minutes after you already did it. Its like washing the same plate over and over again. Its no fun! I joined weight watchers to help me “own up to it”. I know I can do it with out weight watchers. I’ve proven that once but the weekly weigh in really helps me. When the scale moves I feel great. When it doesn’t move I feel lousy but keep going. I haven’t had a gain since I started doing weight watchers. I have had it not move though. Just once. Weight watchers gives me the motivation that I need to keep going. I mean 1-2 lbs weight loss a week tells me,’see you can do this next week too.. Just keep going”.
How am I going to avoid burn out again? I’m not sure. Maybe the weekly weigh ins will be a push to keep going. Or the emotional turmoil gaining that 20 lbs back did to me before. We’ll see when we get there. Right now I’ve decided I have to do this for me. So my first goal is to lose the 20 I had previously lost. Its aggravating because I could have been on my 2nd 20lb goal had I just followed through.. The key is to dwell on the here and now and not the past and what has been. Right?
Tosha
